Author Interview: Sabrina Zackery

Sabrina Zackery is the recipient of numerous awards and honorable mentions for her screenplays and recently placed second in the 2011 Kids First Film Festival for her feature script The Horse of His Dreams. I interviewed Sabrina about her writing process, The Horse of His Dreams, and her short script based on the same story, titled Are We There Yet?

Continue reading below the interview for an excerpt from The Horse of His Dreams!

 Interview with Sabrina Zackery

 

Q: Your feature is also written as a short script -- which did you write first?

SZ: I wrote the feature length script first.   The Horse of His Dreams was the first screenplay I ever wrote .  Many rewrites and ten years later, I got it right. Talk about a learning curve.  I wrote the short script last year to challenge myself  and to produce and direct a short.  When the short script, Are We There Yet?, won an award at the International Family Film Festival, I knew I was on the right track.  When the feature script won this year at the Kids First! Film Festival, it validated what I wanted to achieve. Audiences want good solid family stories, with strong values. 

Q: How did you come up with the storyline?

SZ: I was lucky to have met horse trainer,Joseph Donohue through a mutual friend. When he told me had horses, I made the trip from Los Angeles to visit him in Reno, Nevada.  I found his story about his mustang stallion ,Myriah fascinating.    The idea of capturing a wild mustang was so romantic to me.   It’s reminiscent to the old school American Dream; a house, kids, a secure job.  During these very troubled times, I want to cultivate dreams in children.  I want kids to put down the cells, the iPads, the games and utilize that big three pound muscle between their ears.  I want kids to know that you can dream and it will come true.  Most people are arm-chair dreamers. It’s easy to sit back and talk it. It’s not so easy to make a dream a reality.

Q: What was your writing process? Did you create an outline first?

SZ: Aspiring writers, do not try this at home.

I set a theme. I’ll consider events around me or something that I’ve experienced to serve as the vehicle for that theme. I create the characters, their flaws, their quirks, their objectives.  Then I go back and write the treatment. I have a beginning, middle and the end of the story.   Good, bad or indifferent, I just put the words on the paper.  If it doesn’t flow in the treatment, then I know it’s not going to flow in the script. Then, I edit.  My style is completely backwards.  The down side is that this can be VERY time consuming.  In my script, Act of Forgiveness, I labored for over one year to get the third character in the ménage de trois correct. When I was on set of the movie, Black Water Valley Exorcism, the lead actor impressed me so much, that I wrote that character just for him.  Not the most efficient way to write, but the most fun because I’ve met some cool people over the years that have been the inspiration for my characters. It pays to be my friend because you will probably end up in my script.

Q: Some of the other writing on your resume is horse-related; is this an interest, hobby, passion?

SZ: When I was a little girl growing up in Los Angeles, I wanted a horse.  I would beg my mother to take me to the pony rides at Griffith Park and often lost the battle.   I vowed I would get a horse when I got older. Now I have four.  I train, show and I was a carriage driving judge for some time. I produced and directed an award winning instructional DVD, The 15 Minute Horse Lesson and wrote a book about training.   So horses are in my blood. They give me an incredible  amount of joy and keep me grounded. 

Q: You were a contributing writer on a nonfiction book with an afterlife theme. Do you often feature supernatural themes in your writing?

SZ: My spiritually guides me. I was raised Catholic, but I’ve been a student of Kabbalah for many years.  Stepping away from Catholicism allowed me to embrace the world, to accept people and events in the world without judgment. I do believe that there is more than just what we see and experience in this reality.  I have a strong connection to the afterlife.  My father, uncle, grandmother, and friends have passed over. They all guide me when I need it. I believe they are my angels.  I write about it because I want readers and viewers to consider that maybe there is something else out there.  Expand your capacity to experience.  It’s that simple.

Q: How long have you been writing? Are you a full-time writer?

 SZ: I’ve been screen writing about ten years. I wrote poetry for years before that and fell into magazine writing by accident.  It’s not full time because I haven’t figure out how to go through life without eating.  Writing gives me a sense of satisfaction that I never got when I worked in the corporate world. It feeds me in other ways.

Q: Jim's dialect is very specific -- how do you make the dialogue sound realistic?

SZ: I’m painfully observant.  That comes from my childhood.  I grew up in a household that dictated children should be seen and not heard.  It’s in my personality. I just sit back, watch and listen to everything and everyone around me. Then I literally crawl into the character and carry on a conversation – with or without someone in the room. It comes across as schizophrenic, but it works for me. Also having many actors as friends helps.

Q: Any current projects you want to mention?

SZ: I’m currently working on my book, taking off my coat – release fat from you body, mind and spirit.  I have a blog, www.takingoffmycoat.com that addresses fat on all three levels and how I handle being 65 pounds lighter on a daily basis.  Also I am working on the second edition of my horse training manual, Training The Trainer.  This is the companion workbook for my awarding winning DVD, The 15 Minute Horse Lesson.  I approach the subject of horse training, not only as an issue with the horse, but as an issue with the horse owner/trainer. Often, the fears of the horse owner are transferred to the horse. Our equine companions are mirrors to aspects of our personalities that we have buried.  I can see my personality in each one of my horses.  Like it or not, when one of my horses challenges me, I have to take a look at what’s bothering me. And I’m in pre-production for my next video; a teaser for The Horse Of His Dreams.  It’s a lot but when I’m stalled on one project, I moved to another.  That way I completely bypass writers block and never get bored.

www.takingoffmycoat.com
www.the15minutehorselesson.com
www.blog.the15minutehorselesson.com

Thanks, Sabrina!

Excerpt from The Horse of His Dreams

Please note: Any formatting that looks a bit "off" (such as oddly centered dialogue) is due to limitations of the blog format, not Sabrina's original screenplay.

EXT. HIGHWAY

A Nevada Highway Patrol car turns around in front of Thomas' jeep. The Patrol car heads down the highway. The cars follow behind.

INT. JEEP

Joseph pops his head outside the jeep.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The truck carrying horses that were
on their way to Texas to be adopted,
lost control when a driver...

EXT. HIGHWAY

The stock trailer's rear door and ramp are broken off. Blood dots the gray rusted surface. Hoof prints trail off onto the hillside.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
... swerved into the lane of the
oncoming livestock truck. The Highway
Patrol has been unable to locate the
driver of the vehicle. The truck
driver had no injuries.

INT. JEEP

Thomas slows down to take a look. Cars behind him HONK.

EXT. HIGHWAY

The carcass of a dead horse is visible behind the truck cab.

INT. JEEP

Joseph leans inside and turns up the volume.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
The horses that escaped are running
free in the Red Rock Valley area.
If anyone sees the mustangs at large,
please call BLM. Do not try to
captures these wild animals.

EXT. HIGHWAY

Thomas speeds away.

EXT. BLM WILD HORSE ADOPTION OFFICE -- DAY

A large office trailer sits behind several holding corrals full of captured mustangs.

SUPER: " Palomino Valley, Nevada."

A group of REPORTERS jockey for position in front of the office. BLM Agent #1 swims through the sea of bodies, dodging questions and camera lenses.

INT. JIM TAYLOR'S OFFICE

JIM TAYLOR sits at his desk. Built like a bulldog, he rolls left and right, searching for a comfortable spot for his stocky body in his too small chair. His office is decorated with photos of Jim and blue ribbon winning horses.

AGENT #1 enters the office.

BLM AGENT #1
You wanted to see me?

JIM
Yeah.

SILENCE.

BLM AGENT #1
Anything wrong, sir?

Jim gets up from his seat and waddles over to the window.

He stares out.

JIM
You know this adoption program is
being watched by every humane society
animal lovin' pansy in the country.

BLM AGENT #1
Yes sir.

JIM
Everybody wants to make sure we do
this thing right. For the sake of
the mustangs.

BLM AGENT #1
Yes sir.

JIM
So, you can see that this little
cargo problem out on 395 is making
us look real bad.

BLM AGENT #1
Yes sir.

Jim waddles over to the BLM Agent.

JIM
We got horses running all over Red
Rock Valley that shoulda been in

Texas. We gotta get them mangy
mustangs rounded up again and outta
here by the end of the week.

BLM AGENT #1
Yes sir.

JIM
The sooner we rid the world of them
good for nothin' mustangs, the better.
I'm ridin' with you to hunt'em down.
Got it?

BLM AGENT #1
Yes sir.

BLM Agent #1 beats a hasty retreat. Jim meanders back to his desk and admires his prize-winning horses.

INT. DONOHUE HOUSE -- NIGHT

The living room is dark. The warm ashes from the fireplace softly glow in the room. Thomas is asleep. Joseph tosses and turns in his sleeping bag.

EXT. DESERT MOUNTAIN TOP -- NIGHT - DREAM

The wind stirs.

A shadow of a horse appears on top of the mountain overlooking the Donohue house.

EXT. DONOHUE HOUSE

Joseph stands on the front porch.

EXT. DESERT MOUNTAIN TOP

The shadow gallops down the mountainside.

EXT. OPEN DESERT

The galloping gets louder. The shadow gallops through the sage, weaving around Juniper trees and jumps sagebrush.

EXT. DONOHUE HOUSE

Joseph runs into the night.

EXT. OPEN DESERT

The shadow fades into a solid figure. A Black Horse appears on the horizon. He glances at Joseph and gallops away. Joseph takes off after him. His short legs make little headway through the sagebrush and sand.

He stops to catch his breath.

The wind blows a cloud of sand around Joseph. He squints as the sand etch his eyes with pain. The wind gets stronger,stirring loose sagebrush into a tornado. Joseph fights to keep his balance.

The galloping stops. The wind dies. Joseph rubs his eyes.

The Black Horse appears in front of Joseph. He rears and hovers over him. The boy hypnotized by the sight of the horse, is unable to move.

They stand. Eye to eye. The Black Horse lowers his head.

A crescent shaped moon is etched in his coat. Joseph reaches for the horse. But the horse backs away and disappears into the night.

BACK TO SCENE

INT. DONOHUE HOUSE

Joseph snaps awake and gasps for air. He scans around the room. All is quiet except for the sound of his father's snoring.

Joseph searches for his notebook in his sleeping bag. He retrieves it and writes.

© Sabrina Zackery

Bureaucracy for Breakfast - Dina Gachman

Savvy gals and guys may already be familiar with Bureaucracy for Breakfast, the quirky, funny blog with the tagline "the continuing saga of one girl's plight with unemployment". Texas-born, California-based Dina Gachman is the creator and voice behind Bureaucracy for Breakfast, which has amassed a steady web following, including being chosen by Chelsea Handler's Borderline Amazing Comedy site as a featured blog. In fact, Bureaucracy for Breakfast is so popular that Dina is in the process of turning her blog into a book!

I interviewed Dina about her journey from coming up with the idea for her blog to brainstorming a book version. Throughout the interview, read lively excerpts from Bureaucracy for Breakfast (with links to the full posts) and afterwards see Dina's impressive bio (hint: unemployment was not always a problem for this girl!)

Q: How did the idea for your "Bureaucracy for Breakfast" blog originate? 

Dina Gachman: I got laid off from my job as a development executive in film in March 2010 and after a few weeks of brooding in my pajamas wondering what I should do next, I realized I should probably write about the experience and do something productive before I started falling down the rabbit hole of unemployment - which basically means feeling sorry for yourself, meeting your other unemployed friends for beers at 2pm on a weekday, reading US Weekly, and watching too much reality TV. So I thought I would try and look at the whole experience of being laid off in a comedic way. It's more fun to laugh at this stuff than to cry about it, right? So I pitched it to an editor I know and he said lets see what happens. So here we are, over a year later, still going. It's not just about unemployment anymore though, it's about the process of writing, trying to build a career from scratch, and it's about pop culture in general. So for example - Paris Hilton built a 350K dollar house for her dogs, and most people in this country can barely afford the rent on their studio apartment, so to me that's kind of fascinating. And frustrating!

Q: How did you come up with the title? 

DG: Just in case people don't know what EDD is - it's the Employment Development Department in California (no clue why it has "development" in the title since they don't help you find a job!). So one morning I was trying to call them to find out about getting unemployment benefits, and trying to get through to the EDD is an exercise in patience. I kept trying to get through, and I looked down at my sad looking bowl of oatmeal and the words "Bureaucracy for Breakfast" floated through my head. I grabbed a pen and scribbled the title down, not knowing what- if anything - it would become. I jot down a lot of random thoughts on paper, on gum wrappers, on my arm - on whatever is around basically, and half the time I lose the paper or re-read it and realize what I thought was totally brilliant is really totally lame. But this one stuck. 

EXCERPT: "It was handed to me a week ago. An innocent looking, baby-blue postcard. A casting call for a dating game show. My nightmare, really. But when you are jobless, and your nightmare promises $500 for a single day’s work, it’s shockingly easy to face your worst fears. Or so I thought..." (Link: Bureaucracy for Breakfast vol IV: "How Jerry Springer (almost) made me do it")

Q: How long did it take before gaining fans? What did you do in terms of promoting your blog in the early stages? 

DG: The blog is initially published by the website Lost in a Supermarket, so right off the bat readers of that site were exposed to Bureaucracy for Breakfast. At first I was a social media newbie so I would put it on Facebook and send it to people via email. It started getting fans pretty quickly, but mainly it was people I knew. Then I succumbed to Twitter (which I now think is the BEST tool for writers trying to get their work out there - free PR) and created a separate Tumblr blog so I would have all the posts on one site. Once I created the Tumblr and got on Twitter I started getting emails from people all over the country, in Canada etc, so that was really exciting. And people started spreading the word on Facebook and by word of mouth so it started to grow that way. Most days I feel like a one-woman PR machine. I spend half my day writing and the other half trying to spread the word. But I enjoy it actually, it's part of the process.

Q: What is your target demographic? What type of reader (age, gender, location) most often views your blog? 

DG: It's definitely evenly divided between men and women, and the readers are mostly early 20s into their late 40s, but I get emails from people in their 50s and 60s as well. One reader is a teacher in his 50s who lives in Reno, Nevada, and he's one of the biggest supporters. Initially I was writing for people who had been laid off and unemployed but even though people who've been through that experience relate, it's really for anyone who likes reading comedy I guess. The target audience is anyone with a sense of humor! 

EXCERPT: "We sat on pillows. Chaturanga had on tight, lacy black bellbottoms with red fabric that peeked out of the flares when he walked. He wore a color coordinated red silk shirt, beaded necklaces, and a vest. His hair was shoulder length, pulled back and held together with even more beads. I confess the word “charlatan” popped into my head when I laid eyes on him and his ensemble. I spotted a drum and a didgeridoo..." (Link: Bureaucracy for Breakfast vol XI: "Do what scares you")

Q: Why the name "The Elf" for Twitter? [Dina's Twitter name is TheElf26.]

DG: I blame the editor at Lost in a Supermarket (LIAS) for that one! The Elf was my nickname in college, and he likes everyone who writes for LIAS to use a pen name. He's Madman Mundt (from the movie Barton Fink), and I became The Elf. I guess it's because I'm 5'2" on a good day - not because I have pointy ears and live in a forest. 

Q: Describe your blogging process (examples: do you write every day, only when inspiration hits, etc.) 

DG: I write every day whether it's just journal type writing, the blog, or working on another project (I write a column for H Texas Magazine called "Texan Adrift" as well). One of my favorite writing quotes is "Stop thinking of writing as art. Think of it as work."  Paddy Chayefsky (Network, Marty) said that, and I think it's so true. Professional athletes don't practice once in a blue moon when they feel like it, they do it every day no matter what. After the layoff and during the process of writing this blog I've really come to understand how true that quote is. You have to do it every single day, even if what comes out just sucks and even if sitting down to write sounds as fun as hopping into the dentist chair for a root canal. It's work. As far as Bureaucracy for Breakfast, I'll write one about once a month, I usually wait until the idea for the next post takes shape in my head, and through jotting down notes, then I'll get into a zone for a few hours and just spit it out onto the page. Then I edit and re-write obsessively for a few days before sending it to the editor.

EXCERPT:  " By the time I leave babysitting, I look and feel like I’ve just crawled on hands and knees out of the jungles of Borneo after being chased by wild boars and gibbons and rabid butterflies. Let’s just say on those days, I don’t go home and write. I go meet friends for a drink..." (Link: Bureaucracy for Breakfast vol X: "(mis)Adventures in Babysitting")

Q: Describe how you felt when chosen by Chelsea Handler's site as a featured blog. 

DG: Excited! I love her books, it's rare to read something and laugh out loud, and besides her and David Sedaris, not many writers do that for me - really catch me off guard with a sentence or a phrase and make me laugh. But it really motivated me to keep pushing the blog and keep on writing. Most writers know the crazy highs and lows you go through - one minute you're a writing genius and you're on the path to a best sellers list or an Academy Award, and the next minute you suck and you'll end up unpublished in a ditch somewhere. So we need those jolts to keep us going - like getting recognized by Chelsea Handler's company etc. It has also been a great marketing tool, to be able to tell people about that.

Q: When did you decide to turn the blog into a book, and what steps have you taken to achieve your goal? 

DG: Back in the fall I started getting asked about turning it into a book, and at first I wasn't sure what the book version would be - would there be a running narrative? Would it be a fiction version? Then I started thinking about why I love to pick up a David Sedaris book - it's just FUNNY, and entertaining. Not that I'm comparing myself to him, I just started thinking the book version could be something people would pick up and read and re-read when they want to escape for a little bit and just be entertained. So I launched a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to get a graphic designer and try and create an initial book version. I made a video, spent a month sending the Kickstarter link out and reached the funding goal which was really cool and amazing every time I got a donation - it really meant a lot and made me feel that much closer to the project. So I have a graphic designer named Amy Saaed I'm working with, a book agent asked to see a proposal so that's exciting, and there's been talk of doing a graphic novel/comic book version of the blog too. So we'll see, fingers crossed!

Thanks, Dina!

About Dina Gachman: Born and raised in Texas, Dina Gachman hightailed it to Los Angeles at eighteen to attend UCLA. After college she waited many tables and traveled around the globe to places like Tokyo, Belgium, the Czech Republic, and Costa Rica. Traveling has given her a unique and appreciative perspective of life and home, and helped her realize that people in Tokyo really aren’t that different than people in Denton, Texas. After traveling she applied to and was accepted into the rigorous MFA Production program at USC’s School of Cinematic Arts. She wrote and directed the award-winning comedy short film ARCHER HOUSE, which caught the attention of executives at Fox and NBC. PITSTOP, a dramatic short film she produced, won a BAFTA and a Student Academy Award in 2008. She then worked as a Development Executive for two years in Los Angeles, where she developed films such as THE EXPERIMENT with Adrien Brody and Forest Whitaker. Then the recession came knocking. She was laid off in March 2010 and decided to follow her true passion. Gachman writes arts/culture/film articles for Heeb Magazine, Lost in a Supermarket, and the Santa Monica Mirror. She pens the column TEXAN ADRIFT for H Texas Magazine, and her own comedic blog, BUREAUCRACY FOR BREAKFAST, was picked by Chelsea Handler’s Borderline Amazing Comedy site as a featured blog. She is currently working on a novel about dating in Los Angeles (it's a tragicomedy) and on a comedy pilot that takes place in small town Texas. She resides in Los Angeles.  

Twitter @TheElf26

on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/BureaucracyForBreakfast?sk=wall
http://bureaucracyforbreakfast.tumblr.com/

Excerpts from Bureaucracy for Breakfast © Dina Gachman

Adaptation Interview: Chris Keaton

In the past several weeks on SelfScribes, I've interviewed writers who have adapted their own writing into a different format, so it's only fitting to get the perspective of a writer who has worked with material written by someone else. Chris Keaton discovered Annemarie Bogart's short story What's Your Poison? and turned it into a short script, which has subsequently been made into a short film. Read on for my interview with Chris, as well as excerpts from the short script and short story. A link to the short film's website appears at the end of the post.

Q: How did you discover the short story What's Your Poison??

Chris Keaton: Honestly, I posted to a writing board on (Zoetrope.com) and asked if anyone wanted their short stories adapted. I received a few interested parties, frankly I got a lot. This was the one that I felt had the most potential for adaption. Almost everything works in a short story, but not everything works on the screen. For example budget is a big factor in films. A dragon spitting flames is perfectly fine in your short story, but would cost way to much for a short film. This story, once adapted, wouldn't cost the producer an arm and a leg.

Q: Do you have any personal connection to Annemarie Bogart? Are you a fan of her work?

CK: I never knew Annemarie until she sent me her story. She is very a talented writer.

Q: What did you like best about adapting the story?

CK: I like the challenge of converting an authors vision to a visual medium and adjusting the story to fit what is expected from a film.

Q: What was the most challenging aspect of adapting?

CK: For me it is respecting the material. A lot of adaptations take far too many liberties with the source material. Often changes are required, but I want to make sure the tone and core of the story remains intact. If I can't do that I might as well write an original story.

Q: Which do you prefer: creating original stories or adapting?

CK: I enjoy both. They have their own challenges. With adaptations you must keep the core of the original work, add where needed to keep appropriate arcs and beats, while never losing that feel the original material gives you. 

Writer Bio: Chris Keaton is an Air Force veteran living with his wife and two daughters in sunny Arizona.  His main writing passion is screenwriting, but does love diving into prose. Several of his screenplays have been filmed. Currently he has two feature films in production. To learn more about Chris and his projects, check out his website: http://www.chris-keaton.com
Prolific Chris also has a novel soon to be released. Visit the promo site at http://www.themosaicnovel.com

#   #   #

Chris's scene is an excellent example of the process of adapting. The script excerpt shows how Chris had to convey Brett's desperation to save Melanie, without saying so outright like in prose. Writers also have to make decisions when turning prose into dialogue. The "hefty sum" mentioned in the short story prose becomes the specific "two thousand dollars" in the script dialogue.

The excerpt from the short story (below the script scene) is the very beginning of the story. The writer has the ability to inform the reader about Melanie's health in the prose. However, a script must show, not tell, these details. Therefore, Chris added a scene before Brett visits the Chinese medicine shop that shows the doctor telling Brett that there's nothing more that modern medicine can do to help Melanie. Brett then takes a walk, which leads to this...

Excerpt from What's Your Poison? short script

by Chris Keaton

Please note: Any screenplay format that looks slightly "off", such as how the dialogue is centered, is due to limitations of the blog format,  not Chris's original script.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Brett shuffles off the busy main street down a side alley. The noise of the bustling city fades away.

He looks up at the sky his eyes red. Brett looks back down and notices a small chipped sign that hangs from rusted chains.

The sign reads ‘Chinese Herbals – Natural Healing.’ A small breeze swings the sign with a SQUEAK.

Below the sign is a picture window filled with jars and boxes of herbs and powders.

He peers into the shop, but he can’t see past the display.

Brett moves to the door, but hesitates. He reaches out.

INT. CHINESE HERBALS - DAY

The door swings open. Chimes TINKLE.

Candles placed around the cluttered space flicker from the breeze whipping through the open door.

Brett steps in and the door closes its chimes RING.

He shuffles along a shelf covered in jars. Each jar filled with various shapes. Painted in red on the jars is the items name in both Chinese characters and English. ‘Myrrh’,‘Eyebright’, ‘Mullein’, ‘Yarrow’, etc.

Brett’s lips tighten. He’s has no idea what he is doing.

A gravely voice startles him.

OLD LADY (O.S.)

What’s your poison?

Brett turns from the shelf.

The OLD LADY (80s white) stands behind a wooden counter. Long white hair hangs over a flower patterned dress.

A black candle flickers odd shadows over her face.

She cocks her head to the side expecting a response and smiles.

OLD LADY
Can I help?

Brett approaches with fear and desperation in his eyes.

BRETT
Uh, I...

His mouth moves, but nothing comes out.

She smiles a semi-toothless grin.

OLD LADY
Come closer, child. So, I can get a better
look at you.

Glaucoma clouds her eyes.

OLD LADY
What’s your poison, son.
(beat)
I know it’s hard.

Tears fill his eyes. He braces himself against the counter.

BRETT
My wife... I want her to live. Please,
help me. I don’t want her to die.

She pats his hand. Her smile fades to a concerned frown.

OLD LADY
Wait here.

She turns and disappears behind a red velvet curtain.

Brett sniffles, wipes his eyes, and straightens his shirt.

The old lady returns carrying an unlabeled mason jar.

OLD LADY
Take this.

She hands him the container.

He examines the gelatinous sanguine-colored material. It swishes against the sides as he moves it.

BRETT
That’s it? What is this stuff?

OLD LADY
It’s a custom mix. I could tell you all
the ingredients, but I’m sure their names
would mean little to you.

Brett looks up with a question on his lips.

OLD LADY
Yes, this is what will do what you wish.
Now, please, she must inhale the smoke
that emits from the jar.

The old lady reaches out.

Brett hands her the jar and she pantomimes the instructions.

OLD LADY
Put a lighted match right into the liquid,
it will ignite, then place it under her
nose.

She sets the jar down.

OLD LADY
What you asked, will then become a
reality.

Brett stares at the jar a moment. He nods.

BRETT
OK, yes.

The old lady gestures to the cash register.

OLD LADY
Two thousand dollars.

Brett looks back at the jar and then the old lady. She nods.

He pulls out his wallet. 

© Chris Keaton

#   #   #

  

Excerpt from What's Your Poison? short story

by Annemarie Bogart

 Brett looked up, the chipped sign dangled on rusted chains. It hit against the stucco wall off the building’s front. Herbs. He glanced into the wide-paned window but saw nothing past the jars piled inside. His red eyes brimmed with tears. He gripped the doorknob and pushed. Chimes sang in his ear. He entered the candlelit shop.
 

Mason jars filled with various shapes line the walls. Brett read the names printed in red calligraphy on the glass containers. Mhyrr. Eyebright. Mullein. Yarrow. He had no idea what these things were.

“What’s your poison?”
 

The graveled voice startled him. Brett turned from the display and faced the voice. An old woman hunched behind the wooden counter. Her white hair hung down her flowered dress. A black candle flickered close to her face. The deep lines around her eyes deepened. Her head cocked to one side, ready for a response.
 

He wasn’t sure he had one.
 

Coming to this place had been his last resort. The doctors gave up long ago. They had told him Melanie had only a week or so left. By the looks of her feeble body, he believed them. Thing is, he couldn’t let go. A twenty-five year old shouldn’t be given their check-out papers, not this way. Brett refused to let her go until every avenue was explored. After mediums, massage therapists, steam counselors, holistic doctors, and every other kook known to the desperate, the map ended here. This small shop suggested by a friend of a friend.
 

“Uh, I…”
 

Brett tried to practice his speech before coming, but it never sounded right in his head. He didn’t trust his voice not to crack and himself not to break down in sobs.
 

“Come closer, child. So, I can get a better look at you.”
 

Brett walked towards the elderly woman, she sounded so kind.
 

Glaucoma clouded her eyes. Her thin lips curved into a smile accentuating her lack of front teeth.
 

“What’s your poison, son. I know it’s hard.”
 

Brett felt the first tear fall before he could hold it in check.
 

After that initial drop, the rest followed unguarded.
 

“My wife…I want her to live. Please, help me. I don’t want her to die.”
 

Brett managed to get the words out between sobs.
 

The old lady patted his hand. Her smile turned down into a concerned frown.
 

“Wait here.”

She turned from Brett and walked into the back room concealed by a red velvet-like curtain.
 

Brett tried to compose himself before she returned. He hated the way his emotions controlled him these days. He prided himself on keeping himself in check; never let them see you sweat. Ever since the doctors diagnosed Melanie with cancer last year, his self-importance dissolved. His only thoughts remained with his wife.
 

She returned. In her hands, she carried a mason jar like the others on the shop shelves. No label adorned this jar.
 

“Take this. Burn its contents, let the fumes waft under your wife’s nose.”
 

“That’s it? What is that stuff?”
 

The gelatinous sanguine-colored material swished against the sides of the glass when she lay it down on the  counter,
 

“It’s a custom mix. I could tell you all the ingredients, but I’m sure their names would mean little to you. Yes, this is what will do what you wish. Now, please, she must inhale the smoke that emits from the jars. Put a lighted match right into the liquid, it will ignite, then place it under here nose. What you asked, will then become a reality.”
 

Brett stared at the jar. Although it seemed too good to be true, he reasoned there simply was no other choice. After paying a hefty sum, he thanked the old woman and left the shop. Expectations of the concoction’s effectiveness drifted through his head.

 #   #   # 

Visit the film's website here

Writer Interview: Lauren Barbato

Writer Lauren Barbato has an interesting technique to further develop and explore her characters; she often writes accompanying prose to her screenplays. I interviewed Lauren about her writing process and her screenplay I Do, You Don't. There's a scene from the script after the interview, and be sure to scroll down to the previous blog post to read an additional scene and the prose that Lauren wrote with it. 

Q: How did the story evolve through multiple drafts? What were major and minor changes?

Lauren Barbato: The story evolved the more Elle continued to evolve. Early on, I would refer to it shorthand as “Mike and Elle.” Draft after draft, it eventually just became “Elle.” The script morphed from a romance drama to a coming-of-age story, though since Elle is 28, I guess it's either a late coming-of-age or early mid-life crisis. Anyway, it wasn’t until I performed open-heart surgery on Elle to discover why and how her self-destructive nature materialized that I knew what othe story was—and it was about her and her father. The throughline of the story switched to Elle and Romeo coming to terms with the dissatisfaction they feel not only toward each other, but also toward how their own lives turned out. As Elle and Romeo’s relationship strengthened throughout the drafts, Mike became more of a "mess" the less and less he became a conventional romantic interest. Elle and Mike are both stuck in self-created ruts; while Elle is desperately trying to claw her way out, Mike is just desperate. Elle was always her own antagonist, but Mike manifested into an extension of Elle’s self-destruction. He ends up regressing—and honestly, it was a satisfying exchange of tragedies.A minor change in the story was Elle’s estranged brother, John. In the original draft, he’s the character who’s never there—just talked about. John does physically make an appearance now—twice. Because of the Elle and Romeo’s growth, John needed to come in. 

Q: How does writing prose help you further develop the plot and characters? At what stage do you write the prose?

LB: It changes from script to script. Here, the prose was written at the beginning of the process, almost as sort of a “relationship bio” for Elle and Mike. When I’m dealing with a couple, it’s sometimes more important for me to write a bio of their relationship than individual character bios. The relationship becomes a third character, taking on quirks of its own. There’s not only the timeline aspect to it, but how the relationship moves, functions, strengthens, weakens, and so on. Looking back on the prose, it takes place later in their lives—Mike’s already a married man—so it almost plays like a premonition. I think by writing that out in the prose, it forced me to place a definition on their relationship. Then when writing the script, it was easier for Elle to redefine it. The prose here also helped me find the mood and tone, which I think turned out to be a brooding sort of nostalgia. interjected at times with fleeting attraction. 

Q: Although the scene is similar, the dialogue in the prose is different from the script scene. Did the screenplay ever contain the dialogue that's in the prose, or was it always separate?

LB: It was always separate. I don’t think I ever wrote any of the dialogue into prose first, although I’ve done that for other scripts. Since this script is so dialogue-driven, once I had an understanding of the emotions for the scene, I dove in headfirst and let the characters dictate where I needed to go. 

Q: How did you come up with the story? What inspired you to write it?

LB: So many things. Both the genesis of Elle and the loose script structure resulted as sort of a retaliation against being boxed in by film school and Hollywood. At the time, I wasn’t liking what I was producing. I was fighting to fit into those process vs. product confines, so much so that I forgot why I wrote in the first place. “I Do, You Don’t” was a way for me to rediscover my voice. I wanted to go back to those small, low-concept stories that I used to tell, so it challenged me to see if I could create a low-concept that sustains itself through character and emotion alone. Elle’s profession as a photographer and her flighty creative lifestyle extended from those feelings. As an artist in any medium these days, you’re teetering the line between art and commercialism, and the more someone like Elle dips into the commercial aspect, the larger the existential crisis. The basis for Elle and her father came out of the on-and-off relationship I have with my own father. A lot of “I Do, You Don’t” was coming to terms with my father’s mortality. Mike came from those strange, undefinable sexual and romantic connections with people that you prolong when you’re too afraid to question it, because it would mean letting them go. I needed to let them go. I also had an excruciating nursing home experience with my grandmother when I was a teenager, and I’ll never forget that feeling—facing the inevitable, for both the resident and the family. It’s an unnerving, fragile time. The clock is ticking, but very slowly. Time is running out but it’s not—you don’t know if it’s two days or two months. I don’t know why I chose to put myself through that again, but something in me compelled me to capture that state of mind.

Q: In both excerpts -- the scene between Elle and her father, and the scene between Elle and Mike -- there is obvious tension. Was the tone difficult to get right? Which scene was more challenging to write?

LB: They were both very difficult, but the Elle-Romeo scenes were tougher. This one was perhaps the toughest because it’s the first interaction between Elle and Romeo, so there was a ton of exposition I had to relay. It also had to be a marker for Elle’s pain, but I had to be very meticulous with the emotions and zingers. I couldn’t just throw in the line, “You disappoint me” (which I tried) for fear of it being too harsh or forced. The zingers had to be sparse and they had to be motivated. It required give and take, feeling out when they should push each other’s buttons and when to scale it back so they have some breathing room. It helps, too, if I think of scenes as having a three-act structure of their own. The tension has to be there from the beginning, but it has to swell before it breaks. I had an advantage with working with characters who knew each other very well, so that made the dialogue flow. It’s at once effortless and trying—particularly with Elle and Mike—to have a conversation with these characters. Effortless because on some basic, fundamental level they understand each other; trying because everyone had such a strong backstory and therefore, a lot to say. Often, it was a lot harder to get them to quiet down.

Q: Did you have any plot lines or characters that you liked but ultimately chose to remove?

LB: Throughout the drafts, I flirted with various peripheral characters, including a former best friend to Elle and a gay nurse at the nursing home. I liked the gay nurse because his bond with Romeo exemplified a change in Romeo’s character and and indication that there was hope for Romeo and John. In the end, additional characters seemed to unnecessarily complicate things, so I fleshed out the main players and they were enough to sustain the 110 pages.

Q: Are there any films that you feel are similar to "I Do, You Don't"?

LB: “Rachel Getting Married”  definitely helped jump start my creativity at the time. I admired “Rachel” for its boldness, the way it was reminiscent of Robert Altman films. I grew up watching Altman films, so I always had an affinity for that kind of organic cinema that unfolds ignoring everything Robert McKee says at his screenwriting seminars. So structurally, “Rachel” is similar in that “I Do, You Don’t” takes place over 4-5 days.

Q: What are some of your favorite screenplays?

LB: “Manhattan” is one of my favorites because Woody Allen took a low-concept story about terribly unlikeable people and made it terribly engaging (and real). “Before Sunset” is a script I wish I wrote, but my dad still wishes I made it big with “Little Miss Sunshine.” As for 2011 films, I just saw “Beginners” and fell in love. And I can’t really say I like Mike Leigh’s screenplays since he doesn’t technically write a script until after the film is finished, but I’m constantly intrigued by his kooky process and the way he and his actors create these stories from improvisation.

Writer Bio: Lauren Barbato published her first short story in a national children's magazine at the age of 10, and since then has devoted her life to storytelling. A recent graduate of USC's School of Cinematic Arts with a BFA in Writing for Screen and Television, she has received awards for both her screenwriting and journalism work at the Daily Trojan, where she served as Lifestyle Editor and columnist. As a journalist, Lauren has written and worked for MovieMaker Magazine, The Hollywood Reporter, FILTER Magazine and Campus Circle. Currently, she contributes to Under the Radar and various online sites, including Patch.com, Examiner.com and Yahoo, and is working on transforming "I Do, You Don't" from script to screen. Although she calls Los Angeles home (for now), she remains a proud, Springsteen-loving Jersey girl at heart.

Excerpt from "I Do, You Don't"

Please note: Formatting that looks slightly "off", mainly how the dialogue is centered, is due to limitations of the blog format, not Lauren's original screenplay.

INT. ROMEO’S ROOM - NURSING HOME - DAY

Elle lingers in the DOORWAY, taking in the room:

Hospital bed and wheelchair, paisley patterned arm chairs, an armoire and dresser, and an enormous flat screen television. As for decorations, a crucifix hangs on one wall; a portrait of Ronald Reagan hangs on another.

All of this is for ROMEO (70), a strong man now beaten down by illness. He rests in the bed, remote in hand. Tubes in his nose lead to an oxygen tank.

Elle clears her throat. Romeo mutes the TV.

ROMEO

What is this — standing room only?

Elle eyes the oxygen tank.

ROMEO (CONT'D)

I’m not going to explode, you know.

ELLE

Hey, Daddy.

She gently wraps her arms around Romeo. A brief hug.

ROMEO

You look skinny.

ELLE

I’ve been dieting.

ROMEO

You’re smoking again.

ELLE

Cocaine, actually.

ROMEO

That’s not too far off with you.

ELLE

(ignoring him)

TV’s impressive.

ROMEO

Installed the surround sound  

myself.

ELLE

Looks like you got the works.

ROMEO

Your mother told me you quit the

magazine.

ELLE

For Christ's sake, I just walked

in. Can’t we talk about the weather

or something?

Romeo glances out the window.

ROMEO

It’s cloudy out.

ELLE

Chillier than usual.

ROMEO

Why’d you quit?

Elle scopes out the room, looking for a way out — this isn’t going to be easy.

ELLE

I didn’t believe in what they stood

for.

ROMEO

You don’t have to believe it,

Gabrielle. You just gotta do it.

ELLE

Don’t they say you gotta love what

you do so it’s not a chore?

ROMEO

They don’t say that. You want to

know who says that?

ELLE

Happy people?

ROMEO

Idiots.

ELLE

Then I’m an idiot.

ROMEO

Did you have another job lined up?

ELLE

No, not really.

ROMEO

Do you have one now?

ELLE

No, not really.

ROMEO

Then you’re an idiot.

Elle plops down in an armchair.

ELLE
You know, it’s only been like,
three months.

ROMEO
Four months.

ELLE
Has it been four?

ROMEO
Twenty-eight years old and you
still can’t take care of yourself.

ELLE
Hey, I made it cross-country OK.

ROMEO
Did you pay your rent before you
left?

ELLE
Yes, I paid my rent.

Elle gets up from the armchair, pacing again.

ELLE
OK, no. Fuck.

ROMEO
I’m losing my patience with you,
Gabrielle.

ELLE
Well, it’s a good thing you don’t
have much time left.

Romeo breaks into a coughing fit — painful, uncontrollable. Elle moves forward, but he waves her away as he reaches for his oxygen mask.

ROMEO

Do me a favor and go back to

California.

ELLE
Gladly.

Elle stomps out of the room, passing Christine in the
DOORWAY, who narrows her eyes at Romeo.

ROMEO
(removing his mask)
She hasn’t changed.

© Lauren Barbato